Reblogged

I wrote the following as my senior post for the wonderful Penn State blog OnwardState.com. After you write something like this where you project your own advice on to anyone willing to read/listen, you find yourself dealing with the task of following it in your own life. In the months since writing this post, I've realized the timely lesson of "easier said than done", and have since tried to make a more conscious effort of practicing what I preach.

Stoop Kid’s Afraid to Leave the Stoop

If you’ve ever seen the movie You’ve Got Mail, you’ll understand me when I say I have the “Kathleen Kelly Syndrome.” I often have trouble saying exactly what I mean. Instead, I find it easier to outsource by using quotes or songs to convey my message. That’s why you’ll find a few of my favorites scattered throughout this post: my senior column.

While I could overload you with Third Eye Blind, Barenaked Ladies, John Mayer, or Lady Antebellum, I’ll try to do my best to give you some original content with a side of wisdom. I’m not going to pretend that at 21 I have figured out some magnificently profound outlook on life, but I do know what helps me cope with the fear of the future and every other daunting emotion I feel day in day out as I try to make my mark on the world.

Don’t Let Your Expectations Ruin Your Perception Of Reality
You wake up every morning and develop new expectations whether you admit it or not. You have hopes for how the day is going to turn out; pass a test, hang out with a friend, get an interview. You make plans that you assume will work out exactly the way you want them to. Then, as is the universe’s plan, something happens and throws a wrench in the whole operation. Frustration and disappointment ensues, and you’re stuck focusing on what didn’t work out instead of finding the positive side of things. I know, easier said than done. But chances are, the situation is not as earth shattering as you may think at first glance. If you take a second to find an optimistic angle you will feel a lot better about how things worked out, and less like the universe is out to get you personally. You have the choice to make it a great day.

Progress Is Sharing The Burdens
A few weeks ago I watched a YouTube clip focused around the theme of ‘progress is sharing the burdens.’ The message was that each one of us has the capability of helping others in need based on our own skills and resources. A big part of the way I live my life goes along with this idea and can be summed up by this quote: “The surest way to make yourself happy is to make someone else happy.” For some reason, this saying really works for me. Helping others by sharing their burdens makes me feel like I have a place in the world and a job to do, and seeing the after effects – a smile on a friend’s face, the total for the Penn State Dance Marathon raised at the end of the weekend, or even a simple thank you – lets me know that I have succeeded.

Facing Fears, Facing Life
I never wanted to ride the roller coasters. Not even the small ones. That feeling where your stomach is halfway up your esophagus as you head face first towards the ground never struck me as an experience I needed to have. Little did I know, that’s exactly how you feel at various points throughout your life, even if your feet are planted firmly on the ground with your body parts in all the right places. At some point in high school I tricked myself into getting on a roller coaster, and though I laughed/cried hysterically the whole time, I didn’t want to get off. I’m pretty sure I rode the same ride a few times in a row. I figured out the best way to trick myself into getting on the ride was by saying ‘it will be over in a matter of minutes.’ Since then I’ve been able to calm any resounding fears with the same attitude. It works on everything from going to the dentist (I have 6 wisdom teeth that have to come out right after graduation, god help me) to taking a test, or going through your first big-kid job interview. Any time I find myself facing a scenario that is scary, daunting, or new, I think back to my fear of that stomach-in-throat feeling and I step onto the ride anyways. As we all know, life is so short sometimes it feels like it was over in a matter of minutes.

The Answer Is 42

We go through life constantly questioning ‘the system,’ rarely getting any answers. Each of us has our own way of getting through the tough times and being thankful for the good times. Religion, philosophy, and artistic expression are a few ways humans cope with the daily mysteries of life. I can’t profess to being religious. I don’t thank God or any similar figure for my blessings. I believe in myself and my ability to take control of my life and make things happen. If something doesn’t work out the way I wanted it to I try harder. Years ago I found a quote that has since defined the way I live, and has filled the void left by not having any sort of official “faith” to pray to. Rainer Maria Rilke said:

“I beg you…to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without ever noticing it, live your way into the answers.”

Print that quote out and tape it to as many surfaces in your daily life as you can. Let it resonate with you in the same way it has with me over the past 6 years. Don’t waste your time trying to find the answers to life. They always say it’s not the destination that matters, it’s how you got there. I am living the questions, facing my fears, sharing burdens, and accepting reality. When I graduate in two weeks I have faith that I will go forth and conquer.

"Charcoal Sky"

An excerpt from Markus Zusak's "Getting the Girl"

Sometimes you go to the wrong place, but the right one comes to find you anyway. It might make you trip over it or speak to it, or it might come to you when a day is stripped apart by night and ask you to take its hand and forget this wrong place, this illusion where you stand.

I think of the mess in my mind and how you walked through it to stand before me, and let your voice come close.

I remember brick walls. There are moments when you can only stand and stare, watching the world forget you as you remove yourself form it - when you overcome it and cease to exist as the person you were.

It calls your name but you're gone. You hear nothing, see nothing. You've gone somewhere else and its a place where nothing else can touch you. Nothing else can swing on your thoughts. It's only yourself flat against the charcoal sky, for one moment.

Then flat on the Earth again where the world doesn't recognize you anymore. Your name is what it always was. You look and sound the way you always did, yet you're not the same and when a city wind begins to call out, its voice doesn't only hit the edges; it connects. It blows into you, rather than in spite of you. Sometimes you feel like its calling out for you.

Adoption at Centre Hall PSPCA

The Centre Hall Chapter of the Pennsylvania Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is located off of route 322. It's a great facility to visit if you are interested in adopting dogs or cats. Visit their website for more information on visiting hours and current pets waiting for new homes.

PSU vs. Illinois

University of Illinois' Ryan Arrick, left 6, hugs Penn State pitcher Louis Montesinos, after PSU's 13-4 victory over the Illini on Sunday, April 3, at Medlar Field in State College, Pa.

Matt Ditman, left 17, of the University of Illinois, is called out as he slides in to Penn State catcher Bobby Jacobs during a game Sunday, April 3, at Medlar Field in State College, Pa. Penn State went on to defeat Illinois 13-4.

PSU vs. Florida

The University of Florida's Women's Lacrosse team celebrated a 13-7 win over Penn State University on Saturday, April 2 in State College, Pa.

University of Florida's Janine Hillier, left 1, passes to an open team mate in hopes of adding to their offensive advantage against the Penn State Women's Lacrosse team during a game on Saturday, April 2, in State College, Pa.

University of Florida's Caroline Cochran, right 32, surpases Penn State University's Elaine Welch in the fight for a ground ball during the women's lacrosse game on Saturday April 2 in State College, Pa. The Florida Gators pulled out a win with a 13-7 victory over the Penn State Nittany Lions.

Beauty - Ian Kenney

Ian Kenney, a Penn State junior majoring in music education and voice, works out for 90 minutes a day, seven days a week, spending the majority of that time in the IM Building Fitness Center in State College, Pa. He has a very specific routine to follow in order to stay in shape to be the drum major for the Penn State Blue Band. To Kenney, his relentless fitness routine is what makes him beautiful.

THON 2011

Morale committee member Cristina Lapa from Woodbridge, NJ. sings along with the music as she delivers dancer mail.

Blue in the FACE dancers Kaitlyn Knobloch, left, and Sheryl Hosler video chat with their organization's Four Diamonds Family via Skype. The Isabella blank family could not make the trip to THON this year but were happy to encourage their dancers in this alternative way.

Doug Bear, age 8, participates in the Captains in Training program by following around Supply Logistics Captain Justin Airoso. Doug got a behind the scenes view of THON weekend and learned specifically what Supply Logistics Captains do.

THON 2011

Travis Mount, a 2011 Penn State Dance MaraTHON Entertainment Captain, enjoys the pre-THON show which included lazer lights and fog machines.

Christina Lee, a senior at Penn State from Newtown, Pa., participates in the second Slides of Strength event of the 2011 Penn State MaraTHON.

The "Holly At Us" THON Opperations Committee prepares for the second Slides of Strength event of the weekend Saturday morning at the Bryce Jordan Center. Slides of Strength are when dancers are invited to slide down wrestling mats covered in baby powder and receive 10 second massages from volunteers.

Dan Vecellio of Bradford, Pa. participates in a Hospitality Water Social at the 2011 Penn State Dance MaraTHON in State College, Pa. Water socials exist to keep the dancers hydrated, as the goal is to chug an entire bottle of water. These are done frequently throughout the weekend.

Lerell Richards of Frederalsburg, Md. participates in the first fitness stretch at the 2011 Penn State Dance MaraTHON. Lerell was on the floor supporting the dancers for S.M.A.R.T.

THON 2011

Pete Macartney, lead guitarist for the band 5 Cherry Lewis, entertains the crowd at the Penn State Dance MaraTHON with his solo and hair thrashing style.

Josh Libero, lead singer and guitarist for the band 5 Cherry Lewis, performs for the crowd at the Penn State Dance MaraTHON in State College, Pa. on Saturday morning. The band performed a variety of covers of popular hit songs.

The Philly Phanatic mascot visited the dancers during the first of 46 hours of the 2011 Penn State Dance MaraTHON at the Bryce Jordan Center.

Joey Bonnar from Grove City, Pa. break dances in the middle of a crowd at the 2011 Penn State Dance MaraTHON. Joey is a Morale Committee member.

Pete MAcartney, left, and Josh Libero of the band 5 Cherry Lewis entertain the crowd during the 2011 Penn State Dance MaraTHON (THON) on Saturday morning. The band was selected to play at THON after winning the Band Bash in January.

THON 2011

Four Diamonds child Ashley Fazekas entertains the crowd with her baton twirling skills during the Variety Show on Sunday morning. Behind her, the dancers for the Penn State Lionettes Dance Team cheer her on.

Dancer Quanisha Smith from Penn State Hazelton receives a piggy back ride and massage from two morale committee members during the last 4 hours of THON.

Four Diamonds child Tucker Haas, age 10, entertains the crowd during the Variety show on Sunday morning accompanied by his little sister Taylor, age 7 and the dancers from Alpha Tau Omega and Zeta Tau Alpha.

Four Diamonds child Tucker Haas, age 10 (right), entertains the crowd during the Variety show on Sunday morning accompanied by his little sister Taylor, age 7 and the dancers from Alpha Tau Omega and Zeta Tau Alpha.

HUB Super Heroes

Mary Johnstonbaugh vaccuums the second floor of the HUB during her late night shift of 10:30pm - 7am. This is her first month working as a part of the HUB-Robeson Center cleaning staff at Penn State and she said it was a huge adjustment getting used to staying awake all night. She said it is common for her to get home and sleep from 8am - 6pm.

Chuck Johns has been working at the HUB-Robeson Center for three years now. His favorite part of his job is interacting with the students, though there aren't always that many during the late 10:30pm - 7am shift. Chuck doesn't mind working at night because he truely believes what he does helps the students and staff have the best experience at Penn State.

Breakfast For Many

Tom Toennies volunteered to cook breakfast for his son's Supply Logistics Committee retreatin Blue Bell, Pa. Little did he know the task would involve cooking over 70 pancakes on one griddle.

Super Bowl Noms

Craig Schaeffer, left, a Penn State senior studying mechanical engineering, attempts to eat an entire wing in one bite during a Super Bowl party on Sunday, February 6, 2011. Trevin Dear, right, a Penn State fifth year senior also studying mechanical engineering, challenged Craig to eat as many wings as he could in 2 minutes: the final tally was eight.

In Class Experiment

P is for Pizza Maker

Joe Briscella, a fifth year senior at Penn State studying civil engineering, checks to see if a buffalo chicken pizza is done cooking. He has worked at Bell's Greek Pizza in downtown State College, Pa. for a year. The most stressful part of the job is during the weekend evening rush. His favorite aspect is getting free food.

Joe Briscella, a fifth year senior at Penn State studying civil engineering, cuts a buffalo chicken pizza and prepares it for delivery. Joe said the buffalo chicken is the most popular choice for pizza slices, but customers also enjoy grabbing any of the sandwichs served at Bell's as well.

Photojournalism Assignment: Community

Zeta Tau Alpha sister Jackie Dinarte, a freshman at Penn State majoring in communications, leads "Make A Zeta Smile", an activity where sisters anonymously submit compliments about one another to be read aloud. Photo by Caity Rogowski.