Sitting here a week from 21 and I find myself wishing I wrote myself letters when I was younger. You know those letters you write yourself for big moments in your life so you can read them and reflect back on what “18 year old self” would think. You think you’ll always remember who you are but it’s so easy to change and be affected in small ways every day – sooner or later you’ve changed so much it’s hard to tell if you’re the same as before. And yeah sure don’t get me wrong change is a good thing. And yeah sure it’s all part of growing up – you grow as a person and as a result you change. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I have those days where I think “what would high school me think of college me” or “if I hadn’t met this person would I think the same way about this”. For this reason it’s helpful to have a good group of friends.
When I say ‘a good group of friends’ I don’t mean find a group of four or five people and form a little posse that is so tightly knit even your relatives can’t tell you apart. I mean surround yourself with a good solid group of people, whose opinions you trust and respect, whose lifestyles you admire (notice I didn’t say approve of or envy), whose impact on your own life is truly profound enough to have made a noticeable difference. Then when you find yourself in these moments of self-doubt/self-awareness/ or whatever else you’d like to call it – you can rely on them to bring you back if you feel you’ve gone astray. Over the years, after spending time and effort at building these types of relationships with people, you will see that instead of writing yourself letters for the future, you’ve surrounded yourself with the same type of advice only in an intangible form that can respond to your questions with a straight answer – rather than relying on an interpretation of what you meant 5, 10, or even 20 years before.
Personally I know I’m a culprit of asking people who know me if I’ve changed. It’s something I’ve always done. I distinctly remember asking my best friend Natalie Cooper that very question a number of times throughout high school. So as a disclaimer – if I ever ask you this question, it means I value you enough to truly respect your answer.